Industry insiders report tension at a meeting between Steve Climber, world renowned naturalist, and Rootsin Toobers, CEO and head of marketing at NailGun Promotions who produced this ad. Steve, who is also known as “Marathon” Climber, has a reputation for delivering long public lectures that have been described as “thorough” and “a bit dry”. He reportedly expressed discomfort  at the tone of the Flextrek 37 Trillion AUGMENTEON ad. Rootsin responded with a stream of profanity and verbal abuse and reminded Steve that he was under a lifetime contract to NailGun Promotions. Rootsin was heard repeatedly saying  “listen Climber, get with the program!” Steve reportedly left the meeting in tears.

Jake the Good Guy

The men are here! Now available, the male conjugial partners. These men were created by Owen Rose as he sat in various classes at the Academy of the New Church in Bryn Athyn Pa. in the early eighties. You will find a collection of men who may be your soul mate, your perfect partner in this life and the life to come in the next world to infinity. What would you think if you found out that one of these men turned out to be the ONE person who you were meant to be with for all eternity? What a thrill!! Act now and get a throw pillow with Jake’s beautiful face on it so that you can look at it and wonder if he may be the ONE for you! Click on the link to the Rhodes and Rose Store to explore the possibilities.

The heart of a wolf. This is an ad for Wolfheart cologne produced by Rootsin Toobers, CEO of  NailGun Promotions. Wolfheart was Rootsin’s brainchild and was manufactured in collaboration with Juggernaut Pharmaceuticals. NailGun spent millions on promoting this cologne for men, but mysteriously it never caught on. Some people claimed that it was because of the unusual odor of the cologne itself, said to smell like a wet dog. Others laid blame for the failure at Rootsin Toobers’  feet claiming his ad campaign was ill conceived.

What a spectacular vacation! Take a trip with Noel Rhodes to scenic Hawaii.  Gasp at the stunningly gorgeous view from his hotel room. Follow along as he discovers ancient runes carved on an ancient cave wall.  Swoon at his handsome features and admire the fine hat that he found with built in sunglasses!  A trip to remember!!!

Noel in his fine hat

Stu and his brother, Ron, drive to a much anticipated conference. This will be Stu’s first conference since the disasterous one in which female scientists laughed at him and his diagram didn’t turn out like he planned.  During this drive to the conference Stu enlightens any who would listen on unbelievable archeological phenomenon that are everywhere he looks.  Listen for the joy in his voice as he describes a powerful ancient king who has the queen executed in an elaborate ritual sacrifice.  Oh no! Stu has a problem!  What will he do to remedy the fact that he didn’t bring his findings to the conference?

Any performance by the one and only Lorb Lorbson is a treasure, and here is one that is a gem of rare beauty!  Thought to be lost or intentionally destroyed, this video was found by Ron Cranstence, who was there that magical evening at the legendary Cheripintera so many years ago.  If you have a pair of head phones, try listening carefully for Lorb’s  flawless pitch and articulation.  With care its also possible to actually hear the  maitrde’s announcements which leaked onto the audio portion of the tape.  Also, you may be able to spot Ron Cranstence who was working as the sound man that night.  Lorb loved performing  at the Chairpintera.  He would have one of the famous Cheripintera spinach salads and then take over the stage!  Enjoy!

LORB LIVE

Ride along with Stu Cranstence as he makes his way to a scientific conference. On the way he points out some things like how certain natural formations were formed and discovers clear evidence of ancient ceremonies performed by the ancient king in this area. He teaches  us about the dangerous mountain lion and it’s habits at certain times of the year.  Stu thinks he may have to stop on the way and get some more findings, because he wants to make sure that he impresses the scientists. The rest of the trip will be covered in a subsequent video.

Click on the Rhodes and Rose Store link to explore the “My Conjugial Partner Collection”

Own an authentic piece of Academy of the New Church history! This series of drawings was created by an actual Academy of the New Church High School student as he sat in the classroom of the legendary Academy religion teacher, the Reverend Martin Pryke.  In 1981, as a senior, award winning artist, Owen Rose, crafted these striking portraits of imagined partners who might share with him not only life in this world but also all eternity in heaven.  Collect all fourteen of these maidens, immortalized on coffee mugs, clocks and American Apparel 100% cotton T-shirts. And for the ladies, Owen Rose will soon make available a new line of male conjugial partners! Wow!

Larry Shockra is excited to announce that he is a Yoga Master! Here’s a video clip of Larry demonstrating just a few of the groundbreaking techniques that he came up with all on his own. These methods and positions and are not from some bygone era in a long  ago distant past before the future. No. This is a yoga program pulled right out of Larry, by Larry! Learn positions like ‘The Bicycle’, ‘The Poking You in the Eye’, ‘The Knee Surprise’  by the man who actually made them up. Participate in a terrifying,  ‘Dinosaur Meditation.’ Finally, yoga taught to you through song and lecture by the one and only Larry Shockra.