Archive for November, 2009

Stu on Darwin

An authority on evolution

An authority on evolution

How did Darwin invent evolution?

Darwin (no one knows his last name) invented evolution nearly a hundred years ago.  One day he was walking in the forest and he saw five or six figures standing in a line.  The first one was a monkey walking on all fours.  The next one was standing a little straighter and by the time you got to the last one it was a man standing straight up! The disgusting thing is that the man was nude!  You couldn’t see his you know what because one leg was going forward, blocking the view. Even if you hold the page at an angle and look really close, you can’t see anything.
Then Darwin wanted to invent National Selection.  In a very famous incident he strapped a really ugly man to a table and turned the crank so the rope would pull the table up to the ceiling.  Then lightning struck and as they say, ‘The rest is a mystery’.

Now you know!

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November 28, 2009 · Filed under Stu Cranstence

Stu on Geology

Stu Cranstence teaches about geology, a subject he knows like the back of his hand.

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November 24, 2009 · Filed under Stu Cranstence

Treat those pesky Giant Eye Maggots


Juggernaut releases Pandemical to treat those pesky Giant Eye Maggots that developed after you started taking Lethalis.

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November 20, 2009 · Filed under The Ads

Stu has his findings verified

An authority on ancient pottery
An authority on ancient pottery
Question: Are your findings scientific?
Answer: For your information, my brother, Ron, took some of my findings (ancient pottery) to an actual university scientist who told Ron that, YES they do have a scientific name for these findings.  According to this scientist, these findings are called “droppings”.    I don’t need the establishment to tell me that my findings are legitimate  but for those doubters out there, ‘read it and weep’.  You can see me actually making these findings in a video that Ron made called,  ‘Stu Cranstence collects his findings’.
Thanks again to my brother Ron.  He enables me to do all the things I do!
Now you know!

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November 18, 2009 · Filed under Stu Cranstence

Juggernaut releases Poisantin


Thanks Juggernaut! The good people at Juggernaut have just released Poisantin to the general public. They rushed Poisantin through the testing process so that they could meet the publics growing demand for new and interesting medications. Rootsin Toobers has done it again and come up with a winner of an ad campaign for a new wonder drug to treat those pesky side effects from Lethalis.

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November 10, 2009 · Filed under The Ads

Stu on Dislodgication

Stu Crastence lets us in on his secret weapon to find findings.

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November 6, 2009 · Filed under Stu Cranstence

Stryreechlinstral T-shirts now available

The t-shirt

The Front

The back

The back

 

Finally the Stryreechlinstral t-shirts have arrived! Be the first person on your block to own this piece of history!! Just click on the image of the front of the t-shirt above and it will take you to the Rhodesandrose store where all your dreams can come true.

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November 2, 2009 · Filed under The Ads