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Posts Tagged ‘instruction’

Stu on Yogo

August 19th, 2009 3 comments
Stu Cranstence explains an ancient ritual

Stu Cranstence explains an ancient ritual

In recent years yogo has become very popular.  But most people don’t know a damn thing about it.

First of all, yogo is over a hundred years old. It was invented by the ancient Egyptians.  Back then, nobody spoke English.  They only spoke Chinese.  That’s why it’s called yogo.

Questions about Yogo moves- “Why are they called jumping jacks?”
No one knows why they are called ‘jumping jacks’. Why do you think scientists are studying it in the first place?
“Why are women not allowed to be yogo instructors?”
Can you imagine if women were allowed to be yogo instructors. Nag! Nag! Nag! Day and night! Night and day!  That’s why there are no women yogo instructors.
Now you know.

Now You Know: Nocturnal and Amphibious plants

July 21st, 2009 No comments
Stu Cranstence lays it on the line

Stu Cranstence lays it on the line

Many people don’t  know a damn thing about many things.  I’m here to clear up the misconceptions.
How  can you tell the difference between amphibious and nocturnal plants?:
If you know what the hell you’re doing it’s really quite simple.  Amphibious or ‘ancient’ plants are so old that they were invented over a hundred years ago.  Now, thanks to technological breakthroughs, we can use an instrument known as a magnifying glass to burn holes in the leaves.  Amphibious plants, because of their remarkable age, have leaves that are easy to reach, even if I’m sitting down.
Nocturnal plants, or plants that are far away, are too hard to reach and so I don’t waste my time on them.
Now you know.
I’m Stu Cranstence

Now You Know: Stu sets the record straight

July 20th, 2009 2 comments

nowyouknow4
Many people don’t  know a damn thing about many things.  I’m here to clear up the misconceptions.

Shooting Stars:  Shooting stars are a myth. They don’t exist. They are an optical illusion that exists in the human eye, most commonly in the osiris and the ‘cornea’ (corner of the eye to the layman). Did you ever notice that no two people have ever seen a shooting star at the same time?
Endangered Birds: Many areas have endangered birds. The problem is that most people don’t know which birds are endangered  and which are safe birds.  By the time they figure it out their eyes have already been pecked out. Caution: Safe birds are the same in appearance as endangered birds!  In one widely documented case an entire town was taken over by endangered birds.  One family took shelter in their house but when the woman went into the attic the birds broke through a window and attacked  her. The man came up and was able to save her but her eyes were nearly pecked out. This happened so long ago that it was in black and white.
Now you know.
I’m Stu Cranstence.