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Juggernaut releases Lethalis

October 9th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

In response to the overwhelming demand for a drug to counteract the effects of Stryreechlinstral, Juggernaut has released Lethalis! Thanks to Rootsin Toobers of NailGun Promotions for coming up with the name of the drug and the ad campaign! Rootsin has received negative feedback for some of his choices for drug names in the past, but this one is a winner for sure!

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  1. October 15th, 2009 at 20:21 | #1

    I spoke with Jonathan Rose, who is an expert on the Latin language. He said Lethal, Lethalis, Neuter is actually a latin word that means ‘lethal.’ I looked up the word ‘lethal’ in the english dictionary which defines it:

    sufficient to cause death • harmful or destructive.

    That’s an accurate description of what I’ve been going through ever since I started taking this drug. This worries me. What I can’t figure out is why it doesn’t worry my doctors at all. When I spoke to Rootsin Toobers on the Health in Hell Hotline he was a bit dismissive (as in he hung up on me immediately).

  2. Rootsin Toobers
    October 14th, 2009 at 10:55 | #2

    @Old Pappy
    Thank you Old Pappy for your interest in our great product. I would strongly urge you to threaten to sue your doctor if he or she doesn’t prescribe Lathalis to you in the highest possible dose.

  3. Old Pappy
    October 14th, 2009 at 10:49 | #3

    Well boys, I went to my doctor for some of that Lethalis. I’ve got problems in my low spot. The doc examined me and I explained I can’t even find it some days. If it’s cold “he” kind of retreats into a little cave in my groin. I thought it was RSC although it wasn’t too rapid. Anyhow the doc dismissed my request for the perscription!! I’m so mad. He said I had “old man pecker” and Lethalis was for young men. I’m going to get me a new doc and get some. I want a trial sample.

  4. Derek
    October 14th, 2009 at 09:18 | #4

    As a Physician Assistant, I have already written over 100 prescriptions for Lethalis. Why? Because it’s a great product! Thanks Juggernaut. Oh, and thanks for the 18 holes of golf, the lobster dinner and the case of Merlot.

  5. Rootsin Toobers
    October 12th, 2009 at 09:24 | #5

    That’s called, “being smart”. Juggernaut Pharmaceuticals depends on customers, or ‘Partners in Healing’, like you, to reach our goal of creating a new world and reinventing life. Although Lethalis will not stop that cold of yours, it will serve as a gateway into a universe of therapies that will allow you to reach your dreams. and helping people reach their dreams is what we do everyday.
    Rootsin Toobers
    Juggernaut Pharmaceuticals
    Head of Marketing

  6. Thad
    October 11th, 2009 at 21:07 | #6

    I have started takeing Lethlis when I feel a cold coming on. It doesn’t help with the cold, but it makes me feel better for having taken something.

  7. Bill
    October 11th, 2009 at 17:29 | #7

    I took one dose of Stryreechlinstral and within 5 minutes the old boy had rolled up like one of those New Years Eve party favors. Thankfully Juggernaut came out with Lethalis. I’m hoping I’m in the percentage of patients that respond to Lethalis.

  8. Kate
    October 11th, 2009 at 07:32 | #8

    My cousin suffered from this terrible, terrible disease. Most people laugh at it, but this horrible disease was a nightmare. His wife finally divorced him, and he is now living on the beach painting old window panes and throwing sticks at the ocean.

  9. October 9th, 2009 at 21:03 | #9

    I wish Lethalis wasn’t so damned expensive. Stryreechlinstral is already costing me my arms and legs, literally.

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