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Stu on Mastodons

October 5th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments
An authority on Mountain Lions

An authority on Mastodons

A question I am often asked:  How are you able to find so many MASTODON bones and when will the Mastodons return?
The most effective way to find Mastodon bones is by remaining in the perimeter. When you STRAY outside the perimeter it can be hard to locate the cooler and that will become a real distraction. I would suggest looking near the car. The car tires often DISLODGE Mastodon bones in a process known as dislogication.
Mastodons have not been seen alive in West America for over a hundred years! They will most likely return when their wicked queen has been killed. What a great day it will be when the queen is finally eliminated. A great ceremony will be held and the great king will rightly take his place as the true ruler of the Mastodons.

Now you know!

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  1. Stu Cranstence
    October 9th, 2009 at 12:43 | #1

    I don’t want to upset people. The fact that there are no women scientists obviously makes some people cranky. So I will avoid the subject in the future. I will concentrate on mastodons. I believe that I am on the verge of discovering evidence of great society of mastodons that was ruled by a benevolent king who was able to end the cruel reign of a vicious queen. This is research that everyone can be excited about and no one could be offended by or irritable about.
    ps. Ron-There is no room left on the driveway. I’m going to stack the new finding on the lawn. I will leave a pathway to the front door.

  2. Ron
    October 7th, 2009 at 10:29 | #2

    Settle down now.Stu may have some old-fashioned ideas and there may be some bitterness about women that creeps into his work now and then but he’s working on it. As to him being an ignorant moron, if being as brilliant a discoverer and adventurist as Stu is means you get called an ignorant moron then something is very wrong with this country.

  3. Kate
    October 6th, 2009 at 19:32 | #3

    Gloria has numerous strong points, and I would like to register a few thoughts in support of her arguments.
    1. You are ignorant.
    2. You are sexist.
    3. You are a moron.
    4. Stu Cranstence, you FEAR women!

  4. Gloria Allwhite
    October 5th, 2009 at 22:00 | #4

    The only connection that an ignorant, sexist, moron like yourself has to the truth about mastadons is the fact that a Neanderthal like yourself would be from the same time period, “more than 100 years ago”, an underestimation unequaled by even the most unrealistic creationist. And about those mother issues, see a shrink, although the thought of your brain shrinking is not a pretty picture. No sir.

    Sincerely,

    Jee/elle/oh/are/eye/yay

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